It is important to help and support others. Such qualities are one of the main ones not only when we make new friends but also when it comes to romantic relationships.
However, not all support giving and helping is healthy. Therefore, you need to be familiar with the following 6 signs which show that you are giving too much.
- It is obvious that through your helping and support giving a person becomes too dependent on you and develops poor character. It sometimes happens that we want to do well to others but it turns out that we only make it worse. You have to make sure that through your help a person becomes more independent and matured.
- The person to whom you provide your help hasn’t paid enough attention to your agreements and hasn’t used your help as promised. If such situation sounds familiar, you should stop helping such people at least for some time. If you notice that people use your help only so that they could shake off responsibility, your help becomes unhealthy. On the other hand, if you still support such people, you will do harm only to yourself as in a long run you will become resentful towards them.
- The help you provide prevents another person from developing necessary skills or they become stagnant in one stage of development. Sometimes we help others so much that they get too dependent on it. They become unable to do many things on their own because we are always hurrying to help them. It is another form of unhealthy help giving. You have to make sure that with your help a person becomes independent and capable to reach his true potential.
- Your help makes you lose your sense of integrity. You make cover up stories for someone and act dishonestly when you want to help them. Such act of helping is not acceptable. On the other hand, through healthy helping, we behave honestly and don’t question our integrity.
- You believe that people manipulate you so that you would help them. Manipulative people will make you believe that you are guilty because of something and then you will offer them your help. In addition, their manipulative techniques may not be so obvious but deep inside you feel being manipulated into helping them. Manipulative people use other people for their own benefit, thus you should stay away from such people.
- Your help is over your limits and boundaries. You may not have the required resources to help others but you still help them. It becomes even worse if because you help other people, your physical and emotional health suffers. In addition, if someone asks you to lend money but you find it hard to make ends meet, you should say no. When you offer help, be sure that it doesn’t go beyond your means.